Girl: Hey can you check for me?
Friend: Yeah walk in front of me.
*looks at butt*
Friend: Nope, you're good.
blainiacs: i will never forgive jamie lynn spears for getting pregnant and ruining zoey 101
The Legend of Korra: Every Saturday
slothlustandgluttony: avatar-parallels: My life. Someone needs to make a gif of that.
Teacher: Why did you not study?
Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday.
hookedheart: i miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation u could dramatically close them like what can i do with my iphone throw it against the wall
mom: what if your future husband doesn't like your favorite band then what
me: why wouldn't he like his own music mom
friend: you should've came with us!
me: an invitation might have helped
Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: Laughs hysterically, makes pterodactyl noise, transforms into a potato and rolls out the door and away into the sunset
mom: you need to change your damn attitude